Are You Living Someone Else’s Dream?
“Many are pulled in directions to live someone else’s dream. Tap into what it’s all about for YOU and follow THAT dream.” —Joey Ragona
I think a lot of people are living other people’s dreams.
Because they’re “sold” on those dreams.
We all tend to place others who are successful on a pedestal. We see people who could be our “gurus”, and get caught up in that person’s dreams. We listen to people who tell them how easy things are — for them. But we’ve all come from different walks of life…and we’ve all experienced different battles.
John Assaraf asked me at a mastermind seminar once, “What are you willing to trade your life for?” I have that quote hanging on my wall, and I look at it every morning.
Because if you’re willing to trade your life right now for someone else’s dream — you’re in trouble.
It all starts out very simple: “I’m just going to sacrifice for two years. And then everything will work out the way I want.” The rationale is: “I am doing this for my family.” Meanwhile, throughout the time of sacrificing, they’re neglecting their family and skipping through years like a needle bouncing on a broken record — only bringing their head out of the sand to look around once in awhile. This is very dangerous. Many people who start off this way certainly don’t intend to make that happen, but those initial years of sacrifice often turn into decades.
I’ve talked to hundreds of people who finally realize, years later, that they’re living someone else’s dreams. They’ve adopted a learned mindset of success so they live the rest of their lives in a certain way — and they start sacrificing just because they think they have to sacrifice. It’s what they’ve been taught. It goes back to how they haven’t identified what’s true for them, and have not identified what’s good enough for them.
There are three questions we really need to know the answers to. And these are:
What do I want? Why don’t I have it? What am I willing to do to get it?
And when it comes to real estate: how does real estate fit into MY life? Todor talks about this often in his real estate meetings.
Most people go into real estate with money as the driver. This is the wrong thing. Period. This goes for anything — money cannot be the driver of your business.
Yes: I’m saying that real estate is a business.
And this is where I think a lot of people will close the book! But that’s okay. It means they are not ready yet, or that real estate is not for them.
People who don’t want to treat real estate as a business are making a big mistake.
Having one house is not a business. Having one house with a vacation house or a cottage is not a business. If you don’t treat real estate investing as a business, your systems are not going to be in place, and your chances of losing your money are greater.
Like with any business, money cannot be the driver.
When you’re building a business, you have to think of how you’re going to impact the world in a positive way. The really good, successful ideas don’t originate from making money; they originate from how that idea will solve a problem to benefit the world. The money part comes second…like a reward for solving a problem and creating a benefit.
This is why so many people fail in business and in real estate — they get caught up in how much money they will make instead of how it will benefit them, the people around them, and the world. This is why I believe we all must think about real estate as a business.
People get so caught up in these fancy ideas. They get sold on getting their dream house, living on the beach, driving the Ferrari… Ultimately, we must think about what’s going to get us out of bed in the morning. The Ferrari, the beach house, whatever it is — those are amazing, but they are not the end goal. They are the results of why you’re doing what you’re doing.
This is one of the secrets of success. Success is personal fulfillment. You can’t be fulfilled if all you’re thinking about is the beach house and the Ferrari.
If you truly can’t think about anything else except for the beach house and the Ferrari (which are all fantastic), then work backwards from there. Keep those rewards in mind, and then work backwards. Work backwards until you can figure out how you’re going to impact yourself, the people around you, and the world.
Know WHY you’re creating this real estate business in the first place.
Most of us are familiar with the concept of the “why”…but are you truly taking the time to sit down with yourself and figure this out? It’s a different reason for everybody. If money is the driving force in that “why”, I believe we have to go back and revisit.
For me, real estate is about building a legacy. It was never about wanting to make money. The money is a by-product of my real estate business. I want to build a legacy for my children and my family first.
Being very clear on that goal allowed me to structure my business with the type of real estate I buy, and where I buy, in order to fit this into my lifestyle NOW — not in the future. Because our future can change rapidly. Too many make choices (and sacrifices) for the future without understanding how all of it is going to affect their lives TODAY. It’s great to have a plan and a big vision, but it’s also important to start where we are TODAY.
If FEAR controls you — you will never move. It doesn’t matter how much education, money, or plan you have.
It’s about stepping into your fear. The amount of money you have to invest doesn’t even matter. If you’ve got fear, you will be afraid of losing even $10!
When you break down fear, it always comes back to belief. Being fearful means you don’t fully believe in yourself. As soon as you start believing in yourself, that’s when all the solutions come!
One way to overcome your fear of the unknown is to look back at something you’ve accomplished, and then recall HOW you did that. Maybe it’s how you learned to ride a bicycle? I’m sure you didn’t master the art of balance right away.
The same rule applies for anything you look at doing — including real estate investing.
There will ALWAYS be an unknown.
At the end of the day, if you’re stressed about tomorrow’s bills, you’re not ready to step into the fear of building a real estate business. You will only be concerned about paying next month’s bills.
You have to have a stable income in order to build a business. In my case, I sold my company so I had enough money coming in to do real estate full time. And that was my choice. A lot of people tell you to quit your job right away — but this is wrong. First off, you have to know that this is what you really want, and then you have to remember not to live someone else’s dream. Make sure you feel 100% committed before you make a drastic change such as quitting your job.
Real estate is not the fast track to wealth. It’s the slow track to long term and perpetual wealth.
It’s the fast money that really sells real estate courses. There’s nothing wrong with making “fast” money, like in the case of flipping a property, or something like that…but you STILL have to treat it like a business. Wealth doesn’t come from the money you make along the way. It doesn’t matter HOW much that is. It could be millions of dollars per year, or it could pennies…it’s STILL just an income.
Your real estate investing needs to be looked at from the perspective of a business first. Will the business sustain itself? Will you be able to pay the bills, and pay yourself? The whole idea for 99.9% of real estate investors (that I have met, trained, and coached) is FREEDOM.
So why would you want to have a business that cannot survive without YOU there? That’s just a full-time job you’ve created.
The point is, begin building your business from the start with the intention of you NOT being there to run it, AND, that you’ll eventually sell it to reap the true wealth you’ve built. Real estate can do just that.
There will always be a risk no matter what you do.
It’s about putting your time, energy, and money into something YOU believe in!
Real Estate Investor, Business Coach, and Freedom Consultant
I’ve never seen anyone who implements complex ideas and systems as efficiently as Joey.
Joey has been an amazing friend who supports many real estate investors and entrepreneurs. With his mind always racing and looking for new and better ways to support or create businesses, he constantly elevates my game and the game of others with simple questions like:
“WHY do you do what you do? What is the most important to you?”
Use your own answers to his questions as a foundation to everything you do for long term success and satisfaction.